Obama Creates Giant Rainbow After Catching Huge Fish

July 22, 2013

On a recent trip to the Texas Coast, President Obama recently caught a big fish affected by dental cavities. This disgusting discovery really hit the President hard. Once again he experienced first-hand the lack of global cooperation in releasing more hydrofluoric acid into the oceans to further protect wildlife and the environment. Even though the fish protested the president’s statements in its designated Free Speech Zone, Obama still strives to find solutions for us all, friend or foe. After solving such global problems, President Obama will turn to building the success of every hard-working American. We must believe in Obama. Only the president can allow the individual American to thrive. But the Obama Administration needs to take the necessary precautions to protect our homeland from home-grown terrorism. To ensure that no harm comes from this salt-water political dissident who also happens to be a bloodthirsty domestic terrorist (according to FBI bulletins and fusion center flyers), federal agencies have planted their top agents onto the fish’s fins. Ironically the agents share the same last names as our current and last presidents, highlighting the far-reaching influence that our presidents have had with their domestic policies which keep us safe. Even though the

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Five most absurd ways governments will promote Obamacare

July 20, 2013

Like it or not, the Affordable Care Act — Obamacare, for short — is coming. Enrollment in state exchanges, online marketplaces for purchasing health coverage of applying for government-run programs, opens Oct. 1. Between now and then, governments across the land will blow millions of dollars in public relations campaigns to reach target audiences and encourage millions of Americans to participate in the overhaul. Some governments already are looking at how to advertise Obamacare, and some ideas brewing are goofy while others are just awful. Here are the 5 silliest ways we’ve found that governments will promote Obamacare to the masses: 5. Handing out bottles of sunscreen Hey, maybe Secretary of State John Kerry can help out with this one. Connecticut, which is setting up its own state-level health insurance exchanges, will have officials on hand at Sailfest 2013, an annual celebration in the seaport town of New London. Access Health CT, the name for the state’s exchange, is listed as a corporate sponsor of the event, but the event’s organizers did not return calls seeking information about how much the government entity paid for that sponsorship. According to the event’s website, Access Health CT will be handing out bottles

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Five most absurd ways governments will promote Obamacare

July 20, 2013

Like it or not, the Affordable Care Act — Obamacare, for short — is coming. Enrollment in state exchanges, online marketplaces for purchasing health coverage of applying for government-run programs, opens Oct. 1. Between now and then, governments across the land will blow millions of dollars in public relations campaigns to reach target audiences and encourage millions of Americans to participate in the overhaul. Some governments already are looking at how to advertise Obamacare, and some ideas brewing are goofy while others are just awful. Here are the 5 silliest ways we’ve found that governments will promote Obamacare to the masses: 5. Handing out bottles of sunscreen Hey, maybe Secretary of State John Kerry can help out with this one. Connecticut, which is setting up its own state-level health insurance exchanges, will have officials on hand at Sailfest 2013, an annual celebration in the seaport town of New London. Access Health CT, the name for the state’s exchange, is listed as a corporate sponsor of the event, but the event’s organizers did not return calls seeking information about how much the government entity paid for that sponsorship. According to the event’s website, Access Health CT will be handing out bottles

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‘Pink Mass’ Has Made Westboro Baptist Church Founder’s Mom Gay In Afterlife, Satanists Claim

July 20, 2013
‘Pink Mass’ Has Made Westboro Baptist Church Founder’s Mom Gay In Afterlife, Satanists Claim

By now, everyone’s just about had it with the Westboro Baptist Church, a group whose members use national tragedies as opportunities to forward anti-gay hate speech. Ironically, their planned protests often bring communities together in opposition to their message. Now, an unlikely group has mounted a gay offensive against the WBC. On Sunday, July 14, the Satanic Temple, a New York-based organization that seeks to foster “benevolence and empathy among all people” through Satan, performed a ritual called a “pink mass” at the Mississippi gravesite of Catherine Idalette Johnston, mother of WBC founder Fred Phelps Jr. The aim? To “turn” the WBC founder’s mom gay for all eternity. “Upon completion of the pink mass ceremony, Catherine Johnston is now gay in the afterlife,” notes the Satanic Temple website, which has the cheeky URL www.westboro-baptist.com. “Fred Phelps is obligated to believe that his mother is now gay … if beliefs are inviolable rights, nobody has the right to challenge our right to believe that Fred Phelps believes that his mother is now gay.” The latter assertion appears to be a play on the WBC‘s own stance that their beliefs are totally infallible. The Pink Mass was performed twice — once

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Obama Recalls Getting Followed, People Locking Doors On Him — In Other Words, Being A Black Man In America

July 20, 2013
Obama Recalls Getting Followed, People Locking Doors On Him — In Other Words, Being A Black Man In America

President Barack Obama gave unscheduled remarks at a White House briefing on Friday, speaking candidly about issues of race in the wake of the George Zimmerman verdict handed down last week. His deeply personal comments covered his own experience of being an African-American man in America, including personal anecdotes about being racially profiled earlier in his life. Obama argued that controversy over the Zimmerman trial, in which he was ultimately acquitted in the 2012 killing of unarmed Florida teen Trayvon Martin, had emerged due to a painful “set of experiences and a history” that the black community has faced. Read the transcript below, or watch the video above: But I did want to just talk a little bit about context and how people have responded to it and how people are feeling. You know, when Trayvon Martin was first shot, I said that this could have been my son. Another way of saying that is Trayvon Martin could have been me 35 years ago. And when you think about why, in the African-American community at least, there’s a lot of pain around what happened here, I think it’s important to recognize that the African-American community is looking at this issue

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Obama Administration Claims NSA Spying Cannot be Challenged in Court

July 20, 2013

The Obama administration for the first time responded to a Spygate lawsuit, telling a federal judge the wholesale vacuuming up of all phone-call metadata in the United States is in the “public interest,” does not breach the constitutional rights of Americans and cannot be challenged in a court of law. Thursday’s response marks the first time the administration has officially answered one of at least four lawsuits challenging the constitutionality of a secret U.S. snooping program the Guardian newspaper disclosed last month. The administration’s filing sets the stage for what is to be a lengthy legal odyssey — one likely to outlive the Obama presidency — that will define the privacy rights of Americans for years to come. The New York federal district court lawsuit, brought by the American Civil Liberties Union, demands a federal judge immediately halt the spy program the civil rights group labeled as “one of the largest surveillance efforts ever launched by a democratic government.” The Guardian last month posted a leaked copy of a top secret Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court opinion requiring Verizon Business to provide the National Security Agency the phone numbers of both parties involved in all calls, the International Mobile Subscriber Identity

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